Monthly Archives: September 2011
Mr Simon has a new job! His wig has got a lot bigger…we’re talking Dolly Parton full on bouffant! Go Simon!
As a congratulations treat, The Wondercat Bakery made him a little cake.
We’ve been wanting to play about with ring marbling for a while and with the arrival of my order of Lorann flavour oils (OMG! Amazing BTW!) it was time to get mixing those colours and flavours!
I still have a huge selection of speciality coffee beans around so I went for a Java Kalibaru based coffee syrup and butter cream to add some pizazz (did I just say pizazz?).
Mocha Maple Marble Cake with Java Karibaru
- 110g SR flour
- 110g butter (at room temperature)
- 110g golden caster sugar
- 2 eggs
- 1 tsp baking powder
- pinch o’ salt
- 10g cocoa powder
- a few drops vanilla extract
- a few drops of maple flavour oil
- Throw everything apart from the cocoa and flavouring in a bowl and whisk until light and fluffy
- Separate mix into two
- Mix cocoa and vanilla into one half
- Mix maple into the other half
- Put mixes into piping bags
- Pipe alternate blobs on top of each other into lined cake tin
- Tap tin on work-surface to settle and remove air bubbles
- Bake for 30-40 minutes at 170ºC or until about 98ºC internal temperature (my probe was out of batteries so I had to wing it!)
- Leave to cool
- Level cake and cut in half…chow down on the off-cuts (Mmmmmm spoils of baking)!
- Brush bottom layer with coffee syrup
- Spread a thin layer of coffee butter cream
- Plonk on the top layer
- Spread with coffee butter cream
- Decorate (we used chocolate piping gels we had lying around)
- Present to loved one
- Indulge in sexytimes
- 100ml of coffee of your choice (I used Java Kalibaru which has a nummy dark roasted chocolatey taste)
- 50g brown sugar
- Heat in a little pan until sugar disolves
- Leave to cool
Coffee Butter Cream
- 50g softened butter
- 100g icing sugar
- 2 tbsp coffee syrup
- Whisk together until light and fluffy (do not eat…or make double and have a total lickfest with the bowl)
So the marble effect looked less ringy and more marbley but the colours contrasted well and the flavours were scrumptious (I have been putting maple oil in EVERYTHING!). The coffee butter cream was nicely flavoured so don’t go too wild with the joe as it’d be soooo easy to get all coffee overkill.
The most important things was Simy liked it and was very grateful (if you know what I’m saying ;P).
I’m going to be making more versions of this I think but with different sponges to see what’ll happen…maybe angel food cake with a red velvet? It could all end in disaster…silver lining; we get to eat the evidence of our failures!
Two things we heart soooo hard: Cinnamon and Stroopen Gloopen…
Ok, I don’t think it’s called Stroopen Gloopen. It is some sort of Belgian, jammy, delicious wonderstuff made from only apples and pears! Apples and pears! But probably like a million of them per spoon! Granny Dot introduced us to this heavenly goo a few years ago and she kindly brought us some back from Belgium last week (when the boys went to Belgium they literally filled a small suitcase with magical stroop which lasted for…oh, about a week).
What was I saying? Yes, so we have marvellous, sweet supplies and we’re still elbow deep in a bread obsession…say hello to Cinnastroop Swirl Bread!
Our plan was to bake this Friday evening then slice and toast it for breakfast on Saturday…what happened is it was baked and mostly devoured before it had even cooled…it’s called gluttony, we’re guilty and proud of it (did we just get totally meta with my 7 deadlys?).
Any who, I told Mykie to go get supplies on the way home from work and some crazy supermarket parking attendant had a big rant at him! So, maaaaaybe he didn’t get a ticket for the free hour parking, but he was there like 10 minutes…
- Parking douche: is this your car?! *shouty shouty*
- Poor Mykie: well, I have the keys and I’m getting inside so yup, I think it is.
- Parking douche: don’t give my any BACK-SASS!
Back-sass?! What the hell is back-sass?! Who talks like this?! What does that even mean?! Shouldn’t it be followed by a finger snap and a side to side head jerk? We are definitely stealing “Back-sass” as the phrase du jour so thank you cranky parking man.
Focus now, back to bread…
- 350g strong bread flour
- 300ml whey or water
- 5g salt
- 3g yeast (half a packet)
- Stroopen Gloopen or something similar*
- nob of butter
- bit of sugar
- mix whey/water and flour
- cover and leave for 20 minutes
- kneed in salt and yeast for 10 minutes
- cover and leave for 1 hour
- knock back, roll flat , roll like a carpet and roll ends to centre
- cover and leave for 1 hour
- knock back, roll flat , roll like a carpet and roll ends to centre
- cover and leave for 1 hour…are you loving my copy/paste instructions?
- mix Stroopen Gloopen with cinnamon to taste
- roll dough into rectangle spread with Cinnastroop mix and sprinkle with sultanas
- roll up like a carpet and pop into a greased and floured loaf tin
- cover and leave for 20 minutes
- pre-heat the oven to 220C with a bowl of water at the bottom
- melt butter with some cinnamon spread on loaf, sprinkle with sugar
- bake for about 30 minutes
You probably only really need to knock back once but I always repeat and find the bread is so soft and beautiful. Treat your bread like your shampoo-lather, rinse, REPEAT(?)…if you are pushed for time, why the hell are you making bread? (now THAT is some back-sass)
*(hello! here I am! don’t you enjoy a good game of hunt the asterisk note? No? Just me then?)
So Stroopen Gloopen isn’t easy to find if you’re not in Belgium (are you in Belgium? If you are then send me Stroop!) you can maybe use honey or golden syrup or agave nectar. I think Holland and Barrat maybe do a kind of Stroop-stitute, hold on *runs to Google*, yes! This will do pseudo-stroop.
The bread is really soft and with the filling still oven warm…oh, oh, sex squirt (bread lust? sin number 3). I do adore a butter glaze as the glistening sheen it provides is so inviting I may as well have scribbled “eat me NOW” across the loaf. I think I needed to roll it into a shorter, thicker log as one end got smunched into the tin so the dough didn’t touch the sides *smirks*; this lead to a bit of unfurling during baking…hey ho, it’s not like I won’t be making many variations of this until Christmas!
A small amount was somehow reserved for a lazy Saturday morning and was toasted with butter…OMG! Delish!(major sloth time…sin number 4!)
I’m going to save you the pain of me trying to shoe-horn Wrath, Greed and Envy into the post and suggest you go and make some delicious sweet bread.
Getting enough protein is majorly important especially if you’re doing any sort of exercise regime…ps. I think we all are supposed to be BTW.
Getting food with protein and low carbs is easy enough; getting food that is sweet is easy enough; getting both together and you are usually talking a claggy mess that is not that nice to eat.
There are recipes for protein pancakes floating about but TBH, they just don’t do it for me…I don’t want a stack I want a big old cakey munch munch!
I tinker with this recipe often and this weekend I added some AMAZING figs I found in Waitrose…delicious, but I always think figs look like badly bruised scrota…oh, and some almonds, because I love them.
Protein Power Pancake Cake
- 200g egg stuff (I use 1 whole egg and make the rest up with egg white – go Two Chicks!!)
- 50g low fat cottage cheese (try and scoop the less runny bits from the tub and use that)
- 12.5g coconut flour
- 15g vanilla whey powder
- 12.5g wheatgerm
- 1 tsp baking powder
- Splenda to taste (I use LOADS!)
- smoosh everything together with a hand blender
- whisk until it has lightened and increased in volume (it won’t be meringuey but it’ll get a bit lighter)
- pour into a heated greased pan (I use a little 8 inch frying pan) and cook over medium heat (and pre-heat the grill)
- this is when you can throw on some fruit or nuts or other stuff
- when bubbles start making their way to the surface whack under the grill until golden
- chow down whilst feeling healthy and virtuous!
Here’s how I see the basic mixture breaking down nutritionally:
Good huh? Obviously you’ll have to add up any extra goodness you throw in like fruit, nuts a bar of chocolate chips (healthy good? not so much) but it’s super delicious, doesn’t taste like health food and feels like eating a whole cake thing and how often can you do THAT and not feel like queen of the piggies?!
This sort of thing makes up a large proportion of my diet as I could totally miss out savoury food and not be at all bothered…living for the sweetness, oh the sweetness, SWEETNESS! This can get a little challenging when you’re trying to eat low calorie and low carb!
This SHOULD fill you up for AGES…but it is so nummy I have been known to trot right back to the kitchen and get all pancake deja vu…I am HRH Princess Snowterlina of Oinkerville.
This weekend was time to batten down the hatches for the approach of autumn…
If we had to pick a favourite season, it would definitely be autumn! Snuggling up next to a warm fire/man-friend, the opportunity to wear/buy layers and gloves and hats and scarves…so nice.
The boys concerned themselves with sorting out autumn-winter wardrobes (Mykie disposed of 3 sack loads (erm, gross) of clothes in a vicious wardrobe edit…R.I.P. bobbly sweaters and inappropriately short shorts) and getting the house suitably nest-like. I, on the other hand, got the Wondercat Bakery to fix up a nice French baton to accompany the hearty chicken provencalé the boys were making for dinner…
Baton for hatch battening
- 425g bread flour (we used a mix of white and wholemeal)
- 225ml luke warm water or whey
- 3.5g yeast (half a packet)
- 7g salt
- bit o’ milk
- bit o’ wheat-germ
have a nice snugly warm place to leave the dough in, like an oven on super low with the door ajar, or an airing cupboard or maybe even an ample bosom(?)
- stir water into flour
- leave for 20 mins
- knead in yeast and salt for 10 mins
- cover and leave for 1 hour
- punch flat and roll into rectangle, roll up like a carpet and roll the ends to the middle
- cover and leave for 1 hour
- punch, roll, roll and roll again 😉
- cover and leave for one hour
- shape into a thick doughy rod and put on a lined baking tray
- pre-heat oven to 220ºC and stick a bowl of water in the bottom
- brush swollen baton with milk, slash with a sharp knife and sprinkle with wheat-germ
- bake for 30 mins turning half way through
- revel in the comforting joy of baking bread aroma…nose hug.
Well to share a little secret with you dear reader, we were aiming for a baguette but the dough had a really good rise in it…we all know that girth tops length anyway so happy days!
We achieved (achieved? odd choice of word but we’re going with it) a crisp, satisfying crust and a beautiful crumb that sprang back like a tempur foam mattress when poked (poke, poke,poke, etc.)…speaking of which…my Dragons Den idea…Bread Bed©!
Bread is really cheep to make, lovely and soft, smells delicious…how good would a Bread Bed© be!! Picture it, a big roll or bun with a hole ripped into it and a sleeping cave hollowed out…OMG! so damn perfect in every way! If you make it big enough it could be used as shelter/food for army folk or refugees…this could be delicious and LIFESAVING! and who doesn’t love a thing that’s a something/something else?!…we are all about the multifunction…say hello to the real reason for the girthy bread baton 😉 (kidding, ew)).
Ok, ok, I know dirty Debbie Meaden will bring up the little issue of baking giant bread and to be honest, I dunno how this would be work…but I’m just the ideas man, someone else needs to come and sort the practicalities (anyone interested in joining Bread Bed©? I’ll cut you in for 15%).
That was slightly tangential but we’re back now…
Baton=good! The extra proving stage may or may not have been necessary but we got a damn fine Bread Bed© for Barbie (branching out already, that burning smell? my brain cogs not bread BTW) out of it so if time isn’t a problem I’m on board with some extra inflating.
So, we are going to be all about the bruschetta/jam on toast tomorrow and maybe starting small and creating Wondercat Bread Pillows©…oh, oh, how about, Wondercat Edible Breast Augmentation©…
Mykie’s folks have moved house in the last week so he popped around this evening…
So, my parents have left my childhood home! I went around to the old house the other day and got all upset remembering great times…like when mum and I smashed down a big brick fireplace with a sledge hammer when dad was away…and the time I threw a giant stuffed turtle down the stairs and knocked my sister flying through the door…oh the door…the door Kimberley and I shattered a Wily Kit action figure on when we couldn’t find a tennis ball so used the first thing we could find…memories!
I’ve been a little afraid that the new house wouldn’t feel like a family home so I went over today as I knew both my sisters would be there for dinner…
I also thought I’d christen (or since I’m an atheist, have an, erm, naming ceremony?) the oven and throw something together for dessert…seriously difficult when what little baking supplies that have been brought over are still in boxes; Here’s what I found:
- half a small bag of old SR flour
- a small bag of marshmallows from inside an Easter egg
- a bag of white chocolate chips
- a tin of strawberries
- a box of icing sugar
- luckily my folks had eggs and butter in the fridge
I found a microwave steamer to use as a mixing bowl and had no kitchen scales…the only baking tins I could find were a shallow frying pan and a loaf tin.
Some how I managed to throw together a white chocolate and marshmallow strawberry upside-down cake with strawberry glaze!
Not the prettiest but it OMG it was good! Strawberry and white chocolate are the Brad and Angelina of desserts and marshmallows are the bonus Jolie-Pitt children.
Today was the first time we have sat down and had a casual weekday meal together in as long as I can remember! No special occasion, no husbands, just me, my mum, my dad and my sisters…and how we laughed!
I completely forgot how much fun we have just hanging out together as a family! So, I’m not worried about the new house any more because it’s not what you leave behind that’s important (but saying that, we have left DOZENS of long dead pets buried in the garden…surprise new people!).
I am slightly concerned I may have poisoned everyone as that flour was OLD! 😉
Right then, two colour icing, as defined as Aquafresh, not as good for the teeth but much tastier!
Really simple, mix up two batches of butter icing:
- butter = x
- icing sugar = 2x
- milk = x/10
- whisk until light, and fluffy
With all the praise and compliments it was easy to keep up motivation and resist temptation. But, sooner rather than later, the flashbulbs, the glitz, the interviews with Lorraine Kelly the workout DVD…all went away. She was back to her normal life with her usual problems her usual cravings and habits…and when back to the harsh light of reality; “Is that a cake I see?”
Well yes, it is a cake. You like cake don’t you? Two colour/flavour icing; do you wonder what that tastes like?
- put each colour icing in its own piping bag and snip off the pointy ends
- put both piping bags inside another piping bag fitted with a nozzle
- practice squeezing on paper until you get both colours flowing
- pipe away!
So, does a quick-fix diet, extreme make over work?
Well this is where the very hungry butterfly found herself…
Right back to her old habits and knee deep in icing…LIFE STYLE CHANGE PEOPLE! THERE IS NO QUICK FIX FOR WIEGHT LOSS!
For two great podcasts on how to change your lifestyle and become a thinner person see FAT 2 FIT RADIO or CUT THE FAT
I know, right? Going on about a healthy lifestyle on a baking blog in the the middle of a post on icing made entirely of butter and sugar…
This weekend at The Wondercat
Bakery Laboratory, we endeavoured to create buns LIFE!
“I had worked hard for nearly two
years hours, for the sole purpose of infusing life into an inanimate body dough. For this I have deprived myself of rest and health consumed much Gewürztraminer and Jelly Belly beans.”
My assistant Igor helped me fashion bodies from dough and fruit:
- 25g plain flour
- 125ml milk or whey
- mix and heat together (microwave for about 35 sec) until a smooth and thickened
- leave to cool
- 375g bread flour
- 100g plain flour
- 75g sugar
- tsp salt
- 1 packet yeast
- tbsp sesame oil
- tbsp butter
- 150ml warm milk or whey
- 2 eggs
- mix flours sugar and salt in a bowl then mix in yeast
- add water roux and 1 beaten egg and mix together
- add the milk and kneed to a nice elastic dough (about 10 mins)
- kneed in butter and oil (about 10 minutes)
- put in a bowl, cover with cling and leave in a warm place until doubled in size (about 1-1/12 hour)
- knock the down back and kneed again (about 10 mins)
- divide into blobs (about 70g) keeping a bit for ears and tails
- roll each blob into a flat circle, put a tbsp of FILLING in the middle
- pull edges up over filling and twist together
- turn blob seam side down, shape smooth and put on lined baking sheet
- add small pointy blobs for ears and a little sausage for a tail
- brush with beaten egg mixed with water
- leave in a warm place for 30 mins
- bake 175C for 15-20 minutes or until nice and golden (turn down oven if ears are cremating)
- leave to cool then pipe a face with ROYAL ICING
“It was already one in the
morning afternoon; the rain pattered dismally against the panes, and my candle silk cut super-slim was nearly burnt out, when, by the glimmer of the half-extinguished light, I saw the dull yellow tasty sugary eye of the creature open…”
Actually, forget the galvanism, we totally went the “Death Becomes Her” route; we used a potion and wore this delightful outfit:
SEMPRE VIVA! LIVE FOREVER!
All was going well, my creations were satisfactory.
Then they started running amok! Climbing over each other, setting sky+ to record X Factor…What a fucking liberty! Enough is enough!
We needed to find out what went wrong and put an end to their mischief.
We sent Igor to befriend them and gain their trust…
Then when their back was turned…
We captured one and began the vivisection!
It appears the problem was caused by moist filling creating quite a heavy, doughy crumb (which we found deliciously pleasing TBH) and over browning of ears and tails due to their small size.
The main problem with my creations was piping their features too soon. The warm dough made them “cry” and get a bit melty in the face region…WE HAD CREATED MONSTERS!
After learning of their inner-workings we were able to capture and contain the rest of them for further study.
So it was a hard journey but finally we learned: Only play God if you can pull off this ensemble:
Saturday night you know the curry’s gettin’ hot…like you baby!
I’ll make you naan so you can eat the spicy slop…I’ll drive you crazy!
Did I just rewrite Whigfield?
Anyways, I was going out to Greater Manchester Skeptics so Si needed dinner that would be ready when he fiiiiinally got home.
Home made chicken curry with basmati rice and…home made mini naan!
I worked out I could make the naan in the 30 minutes the curry would take (and with the ingredients I had lying around)…Jamie/Macgyver…eatcha heart out.
Super Quick Mini Naan
- 125g plain flour
- 60ml milk or liquid whey
- 1 tsp sesame oil
- 2 tsp some other liquid fat (I used some olive oil)
- 1 tsp sugar
- 1 tsp salt
- flavour spices and things (I had sesame seeds, cumin seeds and ground coriander but nigella seeds, poppy seeds, dried onion bits etc would work great too…just throw in anything you feel like)
- bit of oil/fat for cooking (ghee would probably be good, I used groundnut oil)
- mix the liquids
- mix the dry
- add liquids to dry and need together for about 5 minutes
- leave in a bowl covered in a tea towel for 15 minutes
- either split into small blobs and roll out or roll and cut out shapes
- heat a griddle pan that you’ve brushed with oil
- cook for about 2-3 minutes on each side over a medium heat until golden
Generally naan should be tear-drop shaped which I find rolling out free hand to be annoyingly difficult to get consistent (I have been known to stamp my feet and throw dough across the room in a big hissy fit). I didn’t have a tear-drop cutter but, I have so many round ones I sacrificed one to erm, Vishnu(???) and stretched it at one end (really Richard Dean Anderson, I’m gunning for you).
They looked a little rigidly uniform but being so tiny I think it works. I was quite happy with the griddle lines and they tasted gooood. When I got home Si said the naan were tasty and gave his blessing for them to be made again; This is very positive as many things get the “they were nice but, maybe try something else next time” comment or occasionally the “why would you replace ALL the tomatoes in bolognese with oranges?! Did you honestly think it would be a good idea?” speech.
So if your making a curry it’s really no extra time to throw together some naan…get baking curryphiles!
So, the boys sneaked off to Edinburgh for their second wedding anniversary, leaving me once again to hold down the fort…let’s see what they got up to!
First things first, Edinburgh is one hilly mofo! Do not wear Prada trainers (Simon) or Vivienne Westwood pirate boots and expect to get home with ankles and knees intact…totally pretty though(the city, not the footwear…but the shoes did kick fashion ass)! Beautiful stone buildings, elaborate monuments all placed within rolling hills of green…from the North Bridge the view is so “OMG! I’m in Rivendell! Bilbo?”. Talking hairy hobbits btw, it is a little bit tacky touristy as you’d expect. Think tartan hats with ginger wigs attached, wool, kilts and whiskey…now double it and you’re about a quarter of the way to the volume of crazy tat.
Anyways, back to 21212!
So, the genius who owns the place (Paul Kitching) is well known from his old Michelin starred restaurant, Juniper, which is…down the road from our house! Paul unfortunately moved from Juniper a couple of months after we moved in and before we got our act together and went for a meal…we so didn’t know this before we booked! Fate? Erm, no…but a nice surprise to finally be sampling his wares!
21212 refers to the menu structure, so 2 choices for first course, 1 for the second (I’. Sure you can work the rest out); it’s located in a grand Georgian terrace on a very steep road (cue the whining). Beautifully and opulently renovated, we are talking heavy damasks, wall murals, ceiling roses from the wettest of dreams (I have an interior design fetish, don’t judge, I’m sure you secretly do too); but, manages to incorporate modern design elements, primary coloured perspex, butterfly chandeliers, rooms with names like “pod” and “ate” without being “oh, aren’t we quirky, look at us being all eclectic”…No, totally not “tried too hard and failed” like when your dad says “chillax”, it just all works and flows effortlessly.
I promise I’ll talk food soon, but the bedrooms first, (only four of them, 1, 2, 12 & 21), delightful!
Our bathroom, almost bigger than our room (a shower, almost bigger than our home bathroom) containing a massive egg shaped bath; remember Mork’s egg ship? it would be a sink by comparison(really showing my age there, *note to self: replace Mork with Gaga*). Underfloor heating, Elemis products, a bed wider than it is long, top-spec furnishings…why we left this haven of luxury and traipsed up and down big old hilly streets is beyond me (though we did manage spend a good hour in the bath for hot sweaty action…it was our anniversary after all, but not what you’re thinking…I had a copy of Vanity Fair jewellery edition…total sparkly sexytimes)!
Soooooo, finally, the food! Well there are two main types of fine dining chef, fashion designers and film directors. In the first the chef takes exquisite specimens, dresses them, then presents them to you on the catwalk that is your plate. The second the chef takes the ingredients and directs them to create gastronomic theatre. 21212 is all about the drama! Paul Kitching is less Michael Bay and more Christopher Nolan…we are talking brain hurting Inception for the mouth (yes, I freely admit Inception was amazing and my little brain blew a little fuse)! It is a blessing that the 21212 menu is so simple to follow as any more choice would be major overload! Like a big budget movie, there are killer A-list stars, an army of supporting cast and wet-yourself-cameos…the menu only hints at what treats are in store…this is no Snakes on a Plane.
You’ll have to forgive the lack of memory when it comes to the menu but if you look at the sample one you’ll see why. We managed to both chose opposites on the 2 sections so we got to see all the offerings!
So first course (a 2 course) I had the “breakfast risotto” and it was the highlight of my dinner. Imagine trying to summarise a full English breakfast in flavours…I got them all and more! Every mouthful uncovered another sensory explosion of morning perfection executed with surgical precision. A cube of egg white and a splash of hollandaise providing everything essential from an egg, tiny morels for the required fried mushrooms…the list goes on, and on! Three little beans, a micro crumpet, a whiff of brown sauce, a hint of fried onion! There was black pudding and bacon and sausage even a touch of cheese (not part of my F.E.B. but will be from now on)! All this served in a tiny little bowl…this was food focused to a pin prick and so fun to experience. Si had the “halibut pizza” which again bared little resemblance to what your mind would conjure up. All the best pizza toppings loaded onto a baby halibut! No bread at all! Oh, talking of bread…the bread rolls are crazy good! Yellow, curried, fruity and satisfyingly doughy…I could have eaten them for every course…unfortunately, the serving lady only came round twice despite me giving her the glad eye every time she strolled by with the platter.
The rest of the meal continued in the same vein, the “soup” was layer upon layer of flavours and cubes and crunchy bits and foamy num nums. I started to feel like a child in “Honey I shrank the Kids” (but more “oooh! giant cookie” than “help! giant bowl of cereal!”) as a pine kernel became the focus of my whole spoonful and a Brazil nut nestled next to my beautifully tender pork loin resembled a buttery boulder to be chiselled and ingested over multiple delicious mouthfuls. My tiny plate of precision gastronomy a veritable cave of wonders; delicious gems tucked into every corner (whilst I’m making an Aladdin reference, I should mention my dinner ensemble was gayer than Princess Jasmine’s turquoise hammer pants and crop top…I’m talking Westwood shirt cut to navel and a Tiffany & co. silk neck scarf…It WAS the anniversary of my big gay wedding after all)!
If you can’t tell, I liked the food quite a bit ;P…I liked the cutlery even more (check the steak fork! though it was rather difficult to eat lentils with…I got a few down my inappropriately low cut top)! The restaurant is stunning, richly decorated with organza draped damask walls and the coving of dreams (again with the interior design porn); but, it doesn’t feel formal; Everyone sits on sweeping, curved sofas so none of the usual face to face dining; great for snuggling up and even better for snaffling a bite of your fellow diners food (yes, I’m that person, go the bathroom and you’ll be returning to an empty plate…licked clean). A glass opening gives a full view into the kitchen so you can watch the army of chefs beavering away all so calm and efficient…no shouty, Ramsey-esque nonsense here!
After a post-dinner coffee served in a paper Nespresso cup (still felt quirky good and not forced incongruity) and some of the smoothest truffles I’ve ever shovelled into my mouth, it was off to the huge bed to turn my delicious meal into man titties and love handles…I still wolfed down breakfast the next day, smoked salmon, caviar and chive oil…I mean come on! what’s a gal to do?!?
So 21212? Marvellous! A total culinary adventure! A magic show where the magician saws a carrot in half and pulls a turnip out of a hat whilst simultaneously giving you a Thai full body massage (my parents took me to some dubious magic shows…”show me on the dolly where he put his wand”); you will be ooooh-ing and aaaah-ing all evening.