Wondercat’s Big Baton

This weekend was time to batten down the hatches for the approach of autumn… 

bread, both terrible and delicious...you carby devil.

If we had to pick a favourite season, it would definitely be autumn! Snuggling up next to a warm fire/man-friend, the opportunity to wear/buy layers and gloves and hats and scarves…so nice.

The boys concerned themselves with sorting out autumn-winter wardrobes (Mykie disposed of 3 sack loads (erm, gross) of clothes in a vicious wardrobe edit…R.I.P. bobbly sweaters and inappropriately short shorts) and getting the house suitably nest-like. I, on the other hand, got the Wondercat Bakery to fix up a nice French baton to accompany the hearty chicken provencalé the boys were making for dinner…



slice that bread, slice it good



Baton for hatch battening

  • 425g bread flour (we used a mix of white and wholemeal)
  • 225ml luke warm water or whey
  • 3.5g yeast (half a packet)
  • 7g salt
  • bit o’ milk
  • bit o’ wheat-germ

have a nice snugly warm place to leave the dough in, like an oven on super low with the door ajar, or an airing cupboard or maybe even  an ample bosom(?)

  1. stir water into flour
  2. leave for 20 mins
  3. knead in yeast and salt for 10 mins
  4. cover and leave for 1 hour
  5. punch flat and roll into rectangle, roll up like a carpet and roll the ends to the middle
  6. cover and leave for 1 hour
  7. punch, roll, roll and roll again 😉
  8. cover and leave for one hour
  9. shape into a thick doughy rod and put on a lined baking tray
  10. pre-heat oven to 220ºC and stick a bowl of water in the bottom
  11. brush swollen baton with milk, slash with a sharp knife and sprinkle with wheat-germ
  12. bake for 30 mins turning half way through
  13. revel in the comforting joy of baking bread aroma…nose hug.

Well to share a little secret with you dear reader, we were aiming for a baguette but the dough had a really good rise in it…we all know that girth tops length anyway so happy days!


well hello sailor!


that empty chair?...Si was commanded to move for photo time









We achieved (achieved? odd choice of word but we’re going with it) a crisp, satisfying crust and a beautiful crumb that sprang back like a tempur foam mattress when poked (poke, poke,poke, etc.)…speaking of which…my Dragons Den idea…Bread Bed©!
Bread is really cheep to make, lovely and soft, smells delicious…how good would a Bread Bed© be!! Picture it, a big roll or bun with a hole ripped into it and a sleeping cave hollowed out…OMG! so damn perfect in every way! If you make it big enough it could be used as shelter/food for army folk or refugees…this could be delicious and LIFESAVING! and who doesn’t love a thing that’s a something/something else?!…we are all about the multifunction…say hello to the real reason for the girthy bread baton 😉 (kidding, ew)).
Ok, ok, I know dirty Debbie Meaden will bring up the little issue of baking giant bread and to be honest, I dunno how this would be work…but I’m just the ideas man, someone else needs to come and sort the practicalities (anyone interested in joining Bread Bed©? I’ll cut you in for 15%).


imagine this but bigger, think how soft, HOW SOFT!!


That was slightly tangential but we’re back now…
Baton=good! The extra proving stage may or may not have been necessary but we got a damn fine Bread Bed© for Barbie (branching out already, that burning smell? my brain cogs not bread BTW) out of it so if time isn’t a problem I’m on board with some extra inflating.


delicious futon for Tinkerbell? Mr Disney, get in touch.


So, we are going to be all about the bruschetta/jam on toast tomorrow and maybe starting small and creating Wondercat Bread Pillows©…oh, oh, how about, Wondercat Edible Breast Augmentation©


Posted on September 18, 2011, in Breads and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Bread Bed©?! I’m in! lol

  2. But how would you keep the Bread Bed© from going hard and stale!?

    I’m sad that it’s autumn — I wish summer would stay forever! Although fresh, warm bread does taste better on cool, crisp days… hmm. Now I’m torn.

    • hmmm, I didn’t think of the staleness. Would it matter too much? It would feed a lot of people before it got crusty!
      Autumn is amazing…I do love summer but it’s all about the weather which can be a bit crap…autumn has Halloween and bonfire night and my birthday! 😉

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