The demonic possession of Granny Chadong: a cautionary tale

Why you should never always NEVER add mini-marshmallows to cookies…

the light? that'll be the glow of hell fire

So this was going to be a Granny Chadong biscuit post as I was making a batch for Si for work this week…but, I found a big bag of mini-marshmallows…they wouldn’t hurt, would they?

The power of Christ compels eat you.

I knew marshmallows do funky things in biscuits, like go crazy melty and burn to a crisp; so, I whacked the bag in the freezer to tame the little buggers (BTW, frozen marshmallows=D.E.L.I.C.I.O.U.S!).  Granny C’s recipe also calls for a double bake which I thought I’d have to skip for the same reason.

Well, they came out the oven like the off-spring of Satan.  I had taken a treasured recipe, incubated it in the fiery womb of hell, creating a grotesque biscuit abomination.

the napkin was intended to match the mashmallows :$

The pink and white pillows of marshmallow had transformed to caramel boils, bubbling and oozing from the innocently oaty biscuits.  What had I done!  I was about to call a priest for an exorcism, but, then something wonderful happened…I tasted one…

then another…

then another…

UNHOLY DEMON! don't worry, I ate him.

Sweet Baby Jesus! Well, screw the Baby Jee!  I’m moving over to the dark side!  The repulsive puddles of molten mallow had hardened to a firm yet supple caramel webbing!  They had added a chewy fudginess to the already delicious biscuit that was positively irresistible!

the web of the damned

Usually I can take or leave a cookie; I’ll snap one in half and it’d last me all day…these bastardised biscuits of Beelzebub had taken me mind, body and soul…and cradled in their warm, sweet bosom, I feasted.

who knew the fire of hell had delightful Victorian tile work?

Demonic Chadongs

  • 120g butter
  • 200g light brown sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 80g SR Flour
  • 20g rice flour
  • pinch o’ salt
  • 150g sultanas soaked overnight in liquor (we use port or sherry but go nuts, totally your call)
  • 150g rolled oats
  • 1 tsp mixed spice
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 100g mini marshmallows
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  1. whisk butter and sugar until light
  2. whisk in egg
  3. stir in everything else
  4. spoon into balls on a baking tray leaving spreading room
  5. bake 170ºC for 15-20 minutes or however long it takes for the Hell Mouth to open
  6. revel in orgasmic damnation

Beelzebub's biscuity bosom...with raisin nipples

It is too late for me, I am too far gone, there is no redemption.  Please, save yourselves!  Unless you want to be eternally and deliciously damned…DO NOT ADD MINI MARSHMALLOWS TO BAKED GOODS!


Posted on September 25, 2011, in Cookies, Desserts, Experimental and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. HAHA!!!
    Rocky road though – I’d call that a baked good? Actually it’s not baked so maybe not… ah I’ll quiet now.

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