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Super luxe peanut butter butterfly cupcakes

Hey, we’re back! Well, by back I mean a random post…shit got busy…the boys moved house which was traumatic…stupid glass panelled doors (after the third headache I learned to stop running into them).

Head shot for my book cover *werk*

Head shot for my book cover *werk*

Anyway, I know what you’re thinking…cupcake fucking schmupcake…seen, done, ate many…I agree; but what if *switch to sultry/slutty M&S voice* “These weren’t any cupcakes, these were made with the finest ingredients and flavours from around the world”? (by that we mean the imported food isle in M&S and Harvey Nicks…we aren’t actually going to Ecudador to sniff cocoa beans (we totally should have)).

Super luxe peanut butter butterfly cupcakes (Makes 12)

Gold luster butterflies...we actually gilded the lily.

Gold luster butterflies…we actually gilded the lily.

Chocolate Sponge 

  • 145g Tate & Lyle: Fair Trade Golden Caster Sugar
  • 150ml Merchant Gourmet: Almond Oil
  • 170g McDougals: “00” Flour
  • 35g Green and Blacks: Cocoa Powder
  • 1 tsp Baking Powder (You find a luxury version. You can’t? Shut up fuck up then)
  • 1/2 tsp Cornish Sea Salt Co.: Fine Sea Salt
  • 2 Duck Eggs (All duck are tremendously luxurious) 
  • 170ml Total Greek Yoghurt: Full Fat
  • 1 Ndali: Vanilla Pod
  • A few spoons of Gold Top Jersey Milk

 

Modelling Chocolate

  • 200g Hotel Chocolat: Hacienda Iara 100% Dark
  • 100g The Tasmanian Honey Company: Leatherwood Honey

 

Peanut Butter Frosting

  • 100g Kerrigold Butter
  • 100g Koeze: Cream-Nut Crunchy Natural Peanut Butter
  • 200g Tate & Lyle: Fair Trade Icing Sugar
  •  A few spoons of Gold Top Jersey Milk

Directions…pay attention!

Modelling Chocolate

  1. Melt the chocolate
  2. Stir in the honey
  3. Wrap in cling film and whack in the fridge
  4. When cool, kneed, roll out and cut into shapes (or make into penises, literally minutes of amusement)

 

Cakies

  1. Pre-heat oven to 180ºc
  2. Mix oil with caster sugar until sugar starts to dissolve a bit
  3. Mix in vanilla pod seeds and eggs until creamy
  4. Mix in flour, salt, baking powder and cocoa
  5. Stir through the yoghurt
  6. If the mixture doesn’t fall off a spoon add a splash of milk
  7. Fill cake cases half full and push in a disk of modelling chocolate
  8. Bake for 18–20 minutes
  9. Cool on a wire rack (important! If you leave them in the tin they keep baking; the wire gives their bottoms a nice breeze)

 

Frosting

  1. Beat butters together
  2. Mix in icing sugar with a splash of milk (it stops you getting a nose full of white powder *looks innocent*)
  3. Loosen with a little more milk so it’s smooth and can be piped (any extra can go straight in the mouth).

 

Assemble

Really, if you need directions, how are you working the Internet…or breathing? But for the sake of thoroughness…

  1. Cake=Bottom Frosting=Middle Chocolate=Top …a human centipede of deliciousness
  2. Do not eat until fully assembled (maybe we ate a few too many butterflies as the cakes were cooling…don’t judge me)

Was it worth the hassle and expense of using top end shit?? Ermahgerd! Totally!

The sponge was light, moist and rich.  The frosting was deliciously nutty and not gaggingly cloying  (nutty? gagging? behave…pervert).  The modelling chocolate melted in the mouth; the combo of the fruity, nutty Iara and spicy, sweetness of the Leatherwood honey was fucking mind-blowing…the pieces in the cakes melt and become a sticky, chewy nuggets of joy.

The best review of this bake was Mykie being told by a straight man “If I were gay, I’d marry you.”

So cake awesomeness! With great power comes great responsibility…don’t blame us if you are inundated with  offers of marriage or sexy times…use these cakes wisely.

Where's my fucking cake bitch?

Where’s my fucking cake bitch?

Laters,

 

 Logo Master

 

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Two colour icing/The very hungry caterpillar: the dark side of extreme makeovers

Right then, two colour icing, as defined as Aquafresh, not as good for the teeth but much tastier!

we have many pink things...surprise

Really simple, mix up two batches of butter icing:

  • butter = x
  • icing sugar = 2x
  • milk = x/10
  • flavourings
  • colourings
  1. whisk until light, and fluffy

all Gok'd up

Look at the butterfly, after her extreme makeover from gluttonous green slob to svelte, zippy, glamour-puss everyone told her how great she was looking, how hard she must have worked, how good the new boobs looked…she felt on top of the world. The gastric bypass, the lipo, the veneers, totally worth it!
She got to hang out with all the pretty butterflies, all the celebrities, the flutterati…

She got artsy editorial spreads in glossy magazines to celebrate her total transformation...

is it cake, is it art, is it delicious...you betcha

With all the praise and compliments it was easy to keep up motivation and resist temptation. But, sooner rather than later, the flashbulbs, the glitz, the interviews with Lorraine Kelly the workout DVD…all went away. She was back to her normal life with her usual problems her usual cravings and habits…and when back to the harsh light of reality; “Is that a cake I see?”

please check the two colour swirl...mighty fine pipe work if we do say so

Well yes, it is a cake. You like cake don’t you? Two colour/flavour icing; do you wonder what that tastes like?

  1. put each colour icing in its own piping bag and snip off the pointy ends
  2. put both piping bags inside another piping bag fitted with a nozzle
  3. practice squeezing on paper until you get both colours flowing
  4. pipe away!

So, does a quick-fix diet, extreme make over work?

Well this is where the very hungry butterfly found herself…

nom nom nom! what a moist sponge, a bite or twelve won't hurt

Right back to her old habits and knee deep in icing…LIFE STYLE CHANGE PEOPLE! THERE IS NO QUICK FIX FOR WIEGHT LOSS!

For two great podcasts on how to change your lifestyle and become a thinner person see FAT 2 FIT RADIO or CUT THE FAT

tomorrow I am totally going to Zumba

I know, right? Going on about a healthy lifestyle on a baking blog in the the middle of a post on icing made entirely of butter and sugar…