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The “Miss Ayesha”

Hey kids!  So you may (or may not) have noticed we’ve been a bit posting-lite of recent…

Well the thing is, we have a job, and a life and grown-up stuff and erm…Skyrim, so Wondercat has been demoted to “when we have some time spare”.  Soooooo, having the week before Easter off work and a new kitchen on the verge of completion means it’s time to crack open the self-raising and turn the Kitchenaid up to 5!


It was our dear friend, the fabulous Miss Ayesha’s birthday so what better way for the new kitchen to lose it’s cake-ginity? (It beats drunk on a Saturday night with a dodgy batch of cupcakes…oh, we went to our bitter place of regret again)

Miss A requested a chocolate and cinnamon flavoured cake…she also mentioned a colour scheme but we sort of disregarded that and free-styled…we wanted to make something like the lady herself; striking, glamorous, exquisite and sophisticated.

Behold the “Miss Ayesha”!

a pretty bird for a...

We can’t take all the design credit as it is based on a design we found on Google University…but I think ours is prettier!

a close up of my cock

The cake was a chocolate, cinnamon sponge with a touch of ginger and nutmeg…it was nice and moist due to our new Wondercat sponge recipe (the secret ingredient: Dairy Milk Philly!)!  It was split in to three layers and filled with Fortnum & Mason marmalade, a chocolate ganache (75% cocoa) then glazed with a maraschino and cinnamon syrup before coating with vanilla flavoured fondant.

We used white fondant which was painted on top in gold mixed with a bit of yellow (it did dry the icing a little making it crack a bit…something to work on), the sides were painted in red mixed with fuchsia lustre and the piping work was a dark brown royal icing using size 1, 1.5 and 2 piping tips.

still pretty upside down!

Hopefully we’ll get a chance for some Easter baking (we are itching to make some hot Atheist “A” buns) and manage to post about them…but Alduin ain’t going to kill himself.



Cinnastroop Swirl Bread

Two things we heart soooo hard: Cinnamon and Stroopen Gloopen…

sticky, sweet, long and erm...yeasty

Ok, I don’t think it’s called Stroopen Gloopen. It is some sort of Belgian, jammy, delicious wonderstuff made from only apples and pears! Apples and pears! But probably like a million of them per spoon! Granny Dot introduced us to this heavenly goo a few years ago and she kindly brought us some back from Belgium last week (when the boys went to Belgium they literally filled a small suitcase with magical stroop which lasted for…oh, about a week).

loaf giving "blue steel"

What was I saying? Yes, so we have marvellous, sweet supplies and we’re still elbow deep in a bread obsession…say hello to Cinnastroop Swirl Bread!
Our plan was to bake this Friday evening then slice and toast it for breakfast on Saturday…what happened is it was baked and mostly devoured before it had even cooled…it’s called gluttony, we’re guilty and proud of it (did we just get totally meta with my 7 deadlys?).

Any who, I told Mykie to go get supplies on the way home from work and some crazy supermarket parking attendant had a big rant at him! So, maaaaaybe he didn’t get a ticket for the free hour parking, but he was there like 10 minutes…

  • Parking douche: is this your car?! *shouty shouty*
  • Poor Mykie: well, I have the keys and I’m getting inside so yup, I think it is.
  • Parking douche: don’t give my any BACK-SASS!

Back-sass?! What the hell is back-sass?! Who talks like this?! What does that even mean?! Shouldn’t it be followed by a finger snap and a side to side head jerk? We are definitely stealing “Back-sass” as the phrase du jour so thank you cranky parking man.

Focus now, back to bread…

obey the hypno-loaf

  • 350g strong bread flour
  • 300ml whey or water
  • 5g salt
  • 3g yeast (half a packet)
  • Stroopen Gloopen or something similar*
  • Sultanas
  • Cinnamon
  • nob of butter
  • bit of sugar
  1. mix whey/water and flour
  2. cover and leave for 20 minutes
  3. kneed in salt and yeast for 10 minutes
  4. cover and leave for 1 hour
  5. knock back, roll flat , roll like a carpet and roll ends to centre
  6. cover and leave for 1 hour
  7. knock back, roll flat , roll like a carpet and roll ends to centre
  8. cover and leave for 1 hour…are you loving my copy/paste instructions?
  9. mix Stroopen Gloopen with cinnamon to taste
  10. roll dough into rectangle spread with Cinnastroop mix and sprinkle with sultanas
  11. roll up like a carpet and pop into a greased and floured loaf tin
  12. cover and leave for 20 minutes
  13. pre-heat the oven to 220C with a bowl of water at the bottom
  14. melt butter with some cinnamon spread on loaf, sprinkle with sugar
  15. bake for about 30 minutes
  16. DEVOUR!

slice, eat, slice, eat, pick up loaf, eat

You probably only really need to knock back once but I always repeat and find the bread is so soft and beautiful.  Treat your bread like your shampoo-lather, rinse, REPEAT(?)…if you are pushed for time, why the hell are you making bread? (now THAT is some back-sass)

*(hello! here I am! don’t you enjoy a good game of hunt the asterisk note? No? Just me then?)
So Stroopen Gloopen isn’t easy to find if you’re not in Belgium (are you in Belgium? If you are then send me Stroop!) you can maybe use honey or golden syrup or agave nectar.  I think Holland and Barrat maybe do a kind of Stroop-stitute, hold on *runs to Google*, yes! This will do pseudo-stroop.

Stroopen you sweet European temptress

The bread is really soft and with the filling still oven warm…oh, oh, sex squirt (bread lust? sin number 3).  I do adore a butter glaze as the glistening sheen it provides is so inviting I may as well have scribbled “eat me NOW” across the loaf.  I think I needed to roll it into a shorter, thicker log as one end got smunched into the tin so the dough didn’t touch the sides *smirks*; this lead to a bit of unfurling during baking…hey ho, it’s not like I won’t be making many variations of this until Christmas!

a slightly baggy swirl...that sounds gross

A small amount was somehow reserved for a lazy Saturday morning and was toasted with butter…OMG! Delish!(major sloth time…sin number 4!)

hell yeah! butter me up!

I’m going to save you the pain of me trying to shoe-horn Wrath, Greed and Envy into the post and suggest you go and make some delicious sweet bread.