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Quick Bake: What’s better than men and chocolate?

So hello and happy new year!! We trust you gobbled more than your fair share of festive goodies over the holidays?

ooh, a pedestal compote of men...never said that before.

ooh, a pedestal compote of men…never said that before.

Maybe like us, you are now into January, full of good intentions of healthy eating…but let’s face it…it don’t feel good does it? The feelings of temperance and virtue from your steamed chicken salad don’t quite compare to the memories of the bucket of Lindt reindeer you scoffed. It’s time to give yourself a little, tiny break and treat yourself. We’re not going crazy now, just a little somin’ somin’ to take the edge off! How about a batch of tiny delights from Christmas leftovers and larder scraps (yes, we are full of domestic smugness). So ladies and gays, how do you like the sound of a mouthful of hot, spicy, chocolate man parts?

Hot and spicy chocolate men bites

that's it baby, climb down and dance for me

that’s it baby, climb down and dance for me

  • 40g butter
  • 20g dark chocolate with orange
  • 20g dark chocolate with chilli
  • 25g caster sugar
  • 33g plain flour
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/4 tsp mixed spice
  • 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
  1. Melt the chocolate and butter (we microwaved it (slowly, don’t blame us if you blow the thing up and burn your house to the ground))
  2. Whisk the egg and sugar until light and pale
  3. Fold everything into the egg mix.
  4. Pour into little silicone moulds
  5. Bake at 170ºC for about 10 minutes

A little bite of something nice! Fuck the rice crackers and carrot sticks. This is really quite an awesome recipe that makes a little batch so even if you go a bit Christina Aguilera and eat the lot, it’s not too much of a crisis…more clinging on to the side of the wagon than falling off face first in the horse shit and dirt.

wrapped up for Chads...if that doesn't work as a hint for some hot, hot lovin', we're gonna have to invest in a cream filled cock mould.

wrapped up for Chads…if that doesn’t work as a hint for some hot, hot lovin’, we’re gonna have to invest in a cream filled cock mould.

So on that pleasant note, good luck with any resolutions and 2013 plans!

Laters!

Logo Master

Mini Naanana…

Saturday naan Saturday naan

Saturday night you know the curry’s gettin’ hot…like you baby!

I’ll make you naan so you can eat the spicy slop…I’ll drive you crazy!

Did I just rewrite Whigfield?

It's carby time! oh! It's carby time! oooooh! oooooooh!

Anyways, I was going out to Greater Manchester Skeptics so Si needed dinner that would be ready when he fiiiiinally got home.

Home made chicken curry with basmati rice and…home made mini naan!

I worked out I could make the naan in the 30 minutes the curry would take (and with the ingredients I had lying around)…Jamie/Macgyver…eatcha heart out.

Super Quick Mini Naan

  • 125g plain flour
  • 60ml milk or liquid whey
  • 1 tsp sesame oil
  • 2 tsp some other liquid fat (I used some olive oil)
  • 1 tsp sugar
  • 1 tsp salt
  • flavour spices and things (I had sesame seeds, cumin seeds and ground coriander but nigella seeds, poppy seeds, dried onion bits etc would work great too…just throw in anything you feel like)
  • bit of oil/fat for cooking (ghee would probably be good, I used groundnut oil)
  1. mix the liquids
  2. mix the dry
  3. add liquids to dry and need together for about 5 minutes
  4. leave in a bowl covered in a tea towel for 15 minutes
  5. either split into small blobs and roll out or roll and cut out shapes
  6. heat a griddle pan that you’ve brushed with oil
  7. cook for about 2-3 minutes on each side over a medium heat until golden

pan of naan


Generally naan should be tear-drop shaped which I find rolling out free hand to be annoyingly difficult to get consistent (I have been known to stamp my feet and throw dough across the room in a big hissy fit).  I didn’t have a tear-drop cutter but, I have so many round ones I sacrificed one to erm, Vishnu(???) and stretched it at one end (really Richard Dean Anderson, I’m gunning for you).

sacrificial circle...offering to the curry gods

They looked a little rigidly uniform but being so tiny I think it works.  I was quite happy with the griddle lines and they tasted gooood.  When I got home Si said the naan were tasty and gave his blessing for them to be made again;  This is very positive as many things get the “they were nice but, maybe try something else next time” comment or occasionally the “why would you replace ALL the tomatoes in bolognese with oranges?!  Did you honestly think it would be a good idea?” speech.

fan of naan

man with naan

So if your making a curry it’s really no extra time to throw together some naan…get baking curryphiles!