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Pissedmas Quake

Hello hello hello…

So, like Reese’s Pieces, Turduckens and erm…Captain Planet…good shit can come from smooshing stuff together…and who doesn’t love a portmanteau???

Here at Wondercat we have been learning to quill with paper…could we combine quilling and caking??? Do we dare?

We done dared did!

So here’s this years cake, unveiled at the annual Chadong Christmas Champagne Soiree…

The cake was basically based on Delia’s cake ratios but with tropical fruits and coconut…I won’t be adding coconut again as it make the cake crumbly like Cheshire cheese.

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The white quilling we were very happy with…the black, not so much.  The black petal paste was a bit dry so didn’t roll as nice or smoothly.

But still, quilling + cake = QUAKE! To be eaten with a spork.

Oh and why we are going down this cabbit  hole…

a few of my favourites…

Tranma

Crapkin

Brony

Minja

Woon

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!!

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Motorbike Cake: Eat my dust!

Well they say everyday’s a school day…welcome to the Wondercat School for Mechanics.

eat my dust.

This post will be full of phrases and concepts that only the most senior mechanics are familiar with; you may want to be sitting down.

1) Motorbikes look different from either side

2) If you call a motorbike a “motorcycle” people will look at you strangely and realise you don’t have a clue…and are a bit gay.

So, my good friend Josie asked me to make a cake for her Dads 60th birthday.  She asked for a model of her dad and a motorcycle bike, not just any bike, a:

It really goes!

3) Ducati: sound it out with me, doooooooo-cat-tea.

4) Ducati’s are red.

5) You ride a motorbike, not drive.

6) Valentino Rossi drives rides one…this is a person BTW, kinda attractive, looks a little like a baby chimp.

No problem I thought, I’ve never build anything out of gum-paste before (other than pretty flowers) but how hard can a person and a bike be? Blob here, blob there, job done!

7) Motorbikes have bits in them.  The bits are called “engine”.

Check out my suspension coil...springy.

Note to anyone planning to start building things with paste: don’t start with a motorbike!  Curves, sharp angles, structural pieces are a little challenging when working with squishy paste!  Luckily, Simon is a veteran Warhammer player so is well versed in the art of model pinning and reinforcing…thanks Si, love you (I had a few Captain Janeway moments screeching about help with the “structural integrity”)!

Talking about the paste, I am very proud to say that the rolled fondant and all the modelling paste-MADE BY ME! From scratch, icing sugar everywhere! Recipes here and here!

Nice bush.

The little trees (OK bushes or the man is a giant) are fondant rolled in crushed dry royal icing for foliage…I liked doing this bit!

Making people out of paste didn’t seem too much of an issue.  A trip to Google University indicated that most are made out of blobs and look like balloon animals with stupid cartoon faces…NO!  This is unacceptable!  I decided to use my own method which involved building a body out of paste, rolling paste into thin sheets, cutting mini fabric clothing patterns, constructing garments over body, sculpting head, pinning head to body.  I am happy with the method (though it took ages!). I think it’s something I’ll get better with the more I practice.

Edible film noir...that tingle you're feeling...that's ambiance.

Give some F.A.C.E. baby!

So here are some pictures.  I make no apologies for the many shots and the schizophrenic photo editing…I bought a new camera and a pile of editing apps for ipad…I want to make use of them…deal with it.

According to the speedo, we are going at gas mark 4. Mechanic lesson 8) speedo = what you wear to ride a bike.

It's a limit, not a target! It's also an age!

gum-paste money-shot...niiiiice! Also, check the stitching on those jeans! That's quality needlework my friend!

Captain Birdseye view...everyone looks so small down there.

That's a name not a sexual orientation.

I think my exhaust is exhausted...bakers droop?

these ipad apps...paid for themselves...i wish my life could be in vignette...actually no I don't...70's vintage filter spectacles on the other hand...

Overall I am quite happy with it.  I learned so much making the cake and enjoyed it immensely!  The bike isn’t as crisp as I would have liked but as Simon said “it’s made of cake, it’s a bike of cake, it’s never going to be curved and angled to perfection, because it’s cake”.  I guess I should just be happy it didn’t fall to pieces…

Praise the baby Jesus for toothpicks!